How do you define yourself as a creative?

I’m a designer. I love the connection that design has to functionality and human beings, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how things will make us feel when we’re wearing them. I am the Founder and Creative Director of Namai.

How did you approach care for yourself during your diagnosis and treatment?

I was diagnosed with stage one triple positive breast cancer in 2023, right after I had quit my job to pursue my dream of creating Namai full time. To say the timing was scary is an understatement! It was hands down the most terrifying time of my life. I didn’t do much of the traditional self care like baths or massages, even scheduling those types of appointments felt overwhelming, and the treatment took up so much of my time. 

Early on in my diagnosis, the notion of self care really centred around my emotional self care. It’s tough to look back on, because the way that I dealt with cancer was tough on my partner, and he had to hold a lot of space for me. I've always been a really resilient person, and a go-getter, but throughout my diagnosis and treatment, I didn't feel strong at all. At first I was angry, pissed off that I’d worked so hard to build a life that finally felt healthy, and I faced the fear of it being destroyed.

Once my treatment started (a lumpectomy surgery followed by five weeks of radiation, seventeen cycles over eight months of immunotherapy,  and tamoxifen) I was terrified of all the unknowns- would there be side effects, would I be able to work, would I be me?

I did all the things you’re not supposed to do- spending hours going down reddit rabbit holes, reading about all the potential side effects from treatments, reading medical studies, feeling sorry for myself, freaking out.  Doing a deep dive into my feelings was the luxury I gave myself.

Looking back, it was a tough time, but for me, emotional honesty, and leaning into my emotions is what helped me walk away from the experience and not feel scarred.  It also helped me to practice being more vulnerable and honest with friends, and everyone, really, which has been life changing.That’s why, even if I could turn back time and avoid cancer, I wouldn’t choose to.

Loving my work and doing something I truly believed in was essential for me and carried me through treatment. I was grateful to already have a community around my work, an amazing team, and the chance to spend every spare minute doing things that brought me joy, which helped take my mind off the treatment process. 

Other things that helped me a lot were knitting—I knitted two hats, two scarves and some washcloths during my treatment—and getting outside in nature as much as possible.

What advice would you share with someone going through a diagnosis and treatment?

Educate yourself on treatment options, and ask a lot of questions, so that you can advocate for yourself and what feels right for you.

Bring a friend or partner to appointments.

Exercise- I was fortunate to have already been working out with an amazing trainer who had experience with clients with cancer, and as soon as I was diagnosed we worked to build muscle and gain weight- that helped so much during the recovery from surgery. I think being strong also helped with my general energy levels and mood too, I worked out twice a week throughout my treatment. That and walking my dog kept me feeling like myself.

Therapy- even though I had supportive loved ones around me, there was a lot I felt like I couldn't really talk about, and it was priceless to have someone who was there for me throughout the time, and supported me.

Get to know the nurses and doctors. I was fortunate to have some really lovely people who treated me with incredible kindness, and that helped a lot.

Wear comfortable clothing that makes you feel happy. I always wore my Namai jacket, even over a hospital gown, it made me feel more like myself and felt protective- also a good conversation starter during many hours in waiting rooms!

Remember it’s your journey and there is no right or wrong way to do things, just the way that’s right for you.