Creative People Also Get Cancer | Sara Ryhanen's Story

Creative People Also Get Cancer | Sara Ryhanen's Story

How did you approach care for yourself during your diagnosis and treatment?

Immediately I approached it like a necessary project. After two weeks of literally falling apart, I decided it was going to be easy, and treated it like another thing I needed to do. I compartmentalized it perhaps? (Two years later I'm still confused by it all.)

I'd never been sick or been inside the medical industrial complex before. I had never had an IV in my arm before cancer. I approached it from a place of curiosity. Western medicine became an incredible experiment I was in awe of: a sort of sorcery. I allowed myself to become a vulnerable child again at 42. I cried in every session. I would meet a new nurse or doctor and the first thing I would announce: I'm going to cry, it's OK, I'm OK and this is normal for me.
Wise women during that phase tried to tell me that lack of self nourishment leads to malignancy in the breast. It resonated. I went back to normal so fast. I'm still trying to find a path to serving myself before serving others. I'm hesitant to say gratitude is part of the struggle, but it's made me realize that I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of not serving myself and my own needs while I'm alive.

What advice would you share with someone going through a diagnosis and treatment?
There's no right way to approach it, there's not a correct diet, there's no reason this happens. I said to myself at the beginning of this, I'm going to make this easy - I was determined that I would be the person who didn't have any side effects. And for the most part I had very few, or I've ignored the ones I've had and lived as if not much had changed. (I feel some guilt for that, maybe I'd call it survivors guilt.) 

The hardest part has been realizing myself as a 'survivor' -- that and the vaginal atrophy that comes with lupron/exemestane and medically induced menopause. But honestly, even that is not as bad as they talk about in the forums on reddit, which I was reading like crazy before starting hormone therapy. So beware of reddit - it's an incredible, supportive community of survivors, but most of the posts are people who are really struggling. Those of us who go through this and don't struggle are busy living our lives forgetting to post about the mundane and perhaps relatively easy time we have navigating cancer. I hope whoever is reading this; that is your experience too.
All is to say if you are in the early stage of diagnosis - be aware that there is very likely a whole real life after this blip in your radar. You will not be the same exactly, but I'm here to tell you it's also very good on the other side.

Also - I have always quietly struggled with depression, and one of the best pieces of advice I received: healthy mind helps foster healthy body. So I went on anti-depressants during treatment. During the first weeks of my radiation people would cautiously ask: 'How are you doing?" And I laughed because I had literally never felt better in years thanks to wellbutrin.

Sarah Ryhanen is an artist and educator whose work moves between floral design, farming, food and communal living. Saipua began in 2006 with a Brooklyn studio devoted to the dual crafts of flower arranging and soap-making (Saipua means “soap” in Finnish, a nod to Sarah's heritage and the tradition of Sauna). Through her floral practice, Sarah has cultivated a distinct aesthetic, inspiring a broad movement in floral design. Saipua's work has adorned weddings worldwide, runway shows, and collaborations with artists and organizations. Over the years Saipua has developed into a dynamic consortium of creative endeavors; cultivating products, spaces, educational programing, and experiences that foster and encourage more intimate and provocative connections to the natural world.