Whether it's showing up to the page, the guitar, for my writing students, my kids, or studying Dharma, I see all of these activities as feeding my life's purpose -- namely to be a curious, creative and hopefully kind and gentle human.
How did you approach care for yourself during your diagnosis and treatment?
This was and continues to be very tricky. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 estrogen positive breast cancer at my first mammogram at 40. I had already put it off and was going to put it off even longer as I had no genetic predisposition, nor did I feel any lumps. Little did I know I had 3 high grade tumors in my left breast!
Making the shift from Cancer Mom to Cancer Patient was a surreal experience. Because Lou's health is always forefront on my mind, it was very hard for me to shift the focus onto myself. I ended up leaving Lou and his twin brother, West upstate with my husband, Ian and staying in the city with my dad so I could focus on my unilateral mastectomy, healing, and create some psychic space. It was the best decision I made because the minute I got home, bandages and all, I hit the ground running and was right back in the daily grind of parenting and tending to Lou's special needs and making sure West gets what he needs, too.
Almost four years out, I continue to rely on my Buddhist practice and my sense of humor for my survival. Being both a Cancer Mom and a patient is a crash course in letting go. I try to carve out space for myself to sit in the unknowing and experience joy and fun...even when medical menopause is serving up some new delight (!) or I'm convinced my implant has flipped! One can only laugh, it's all so ridiculous.
Alexa Wilding is a writer, musician, teacher, and mother. Once dubbed “the neo–Stevie Nicks” by The New York Times, she spent a decade as a singer-songwriter before earning her MFA from The Writer’s Foundry in Brooklyn. Her essays and prompts have appeared in The Isolation Journals and The Book of Alchemy, alongside voices like Elizabeth Gilbert and Gloria Steinem, and her work has been featured in Cup of Jo, Parents, Departures, and more. A breast cancer survivor and advocate, she’s been profiled in Vogue, Allure, and Harper’s Bazaar. A native New Yorker now living in Tivoli with her partner and twin sons, Alexa is at work on her first book and new music.
